Hi, BILLY MAYS here with

Alfred Grimhand Bar Crawl

The beer-chugging, death-metal blasting swedish biker gang at the Barbarian Outpost won’t let me train at their totally badass obstacle course unless I prove I’m one of them. There’s no way I’m going back to weenie hut jr.’s aka gnome agility course, so I lie through the teeth about being part of their Asgarnia charter. They demand I prove my membership by surviving a bar crawl through every pub in rscrevolution (excluding weenie hut jr. bar aka gnome tree).

Remember, this was a game for children.

The only rule: when my character drinks, I drink IRL.

Pub #1: Dead Man’s Chest - Brimhaven, Karamja Island

I walk from Barbarian club headquarters to Port Ardougne and toss Captain Barnaby 30 coins. Barnaby takes me to downtown Karamja, which is a pretty sketchy district. Dead Man’s Chest is a pirate bar, and before I get a drink some guy starts talking some bullshit about “you think you’re better than me, two-eyes?” The situation is quickly de-escalated when I mention the Barbarians’ challenge, and everyone laughs and the bartender reaches behind the bar and serves me a glass of strange thick dark liquid. I wince and drink it, staggering backwards. My vision doubles. I immediately re-escalate the situation and fight all the drunken pirates.

Supergrog = Bourbon, bulleit, one hearty glass
(scotch would have been much better. at least I finished my bourbon.)

http://i.imgur.com/GfkSLc4.png

Pub #2: Jolly Boar Inn - Varrock Lumberyard, Misthalin
I tele Varrock and mosey on up to the Jolly Boar Inn. I ignore Dr. Harlow’s slurred speech and head straight over to the bar. I produce my barcrawl card.

Olde suspiciouse = Red wine, apothic red, one hearty glass
(Starting to feel drunk.)

http://i.imgur.com/zG27nW5.png

Pub #3: Blue Moon Inn - Downtown Varrock, Misthalin
I tele back to Varrock square and head south to the Blue Moon Inn. Inside one man-bunned “Johnny the Beard” points to his beard and gives me a thumbs up. This bar has sort of a hipster vibe.

The mixologist at the counter says the last Barbarian bikers that came through here made a huge mess, and charges me 50gp for Uncle Humphrey’s gutrot. I chug it down and feel more drunk, but somehow invigorated (the gutrot boosts strength). I leave quickly before I can start another fight.

Uncle Humphrey’s Gutrot - Vodka, smirnoff, 2oz
(no chaser, you gotta FEEL the gutrot. oww. (bacardi 151 would be better, and ideally, everclear.)

I am now technically drunk.

http://i.imgur.com/ctYw2Jd.png
_{looks like white wine but is actually hard liquor}

Pub #4: The Rising Sun - Falador, Asgarnia
No one in here but a hot young barmaid and a White Knight drinking beer through the slits in his helmet. I’m talking some good game with the waitress and then she plays the “oh my boyfriend said something similar” card. I play the only card I have, the barcrawl one. “Hehe this’ll be fun,” she says, reaching behind the counter. http://i.imgur.com/gDhAZsb.png Can’t tell if she’s flirting or not. Maybe she’s in an open relationship, it’s the new thing. Before I figure out a polite way to ask she throws a cocktail in my hands and charges me 70gp for it (before tip! this is why I don’t go to bars especially if I already have the ingredients at home).

I stumble around all while the barmaid giggles at my predicament. I am too drunk to flirt politely. After a few unfortunate attempts at picking up on her the White Knight comes to her rescue and escorts me out.

Hand of Death Cocktail - Fireball and Apple Cider
(classic winter/autumnal mixed drink. this stuff is sitting okay…. for now.)
http://i.imgur.com/QJNhiqj.png

Pub #5: The Rusty Anchor - Port Sarim, Asgarnia

The walk from Falador to Port Sarim seems much longer than usual. The sun feels much brighter. Does it ever fucking set? I need sunglasses.
i kill the highwayman on the way out of spite for the times he did me wrong
so much alcohol, i think i should have made the first round less buorbon

nothing funny to say about this bar its in a video game called runescapee

i really intended the black skull ale to be a porter, but I dont have any porter in the house. so ideally black skull ale = anchor brewing co. porter

but i have an IPA and an alcoholic ginger beer that are good. since IPA is the opposite of black i’ll go with the ginger ale which i havent tried yet (small town brewery, “not your fathers gingerale”0
http://i.imgur.com/XUPJVsV.png

wow this is really good, tastes perfectly spicy and piratey and fits well with the sailor’s theme of the bar. maybe my favorite thing so far

mmm i could drink a sixpack of these like candy, only 6% alc

Pub 36$; Forestsrs Arms. Seers’ Village> Kandarinn

ok dammy tele takes me straight there. hello sir im getting drunk with my rscrevolution character that’ll be 18 coins :):)

good thing u cant drive in this game

this bar has a little fireplace v. toasty on a rainy evening such as this

LIVERBANE ALE = LAGUNITAS IPA AND A TEQUILA SHOT FUCK IT!
http://i.imgur.com/uNbJXI1.png

liverbane was originally ognna be just teiqila but then the bartender called it an ale whtu theres bo way i culd have prepared fr, so combine beer and tequila than

ok.. i did it now just gotta wyak ibacj ti barbarians voutpost wiht the swedish biker gang listens to opeth
h

:0;0;0;0:):):):))))
funanl sctore;
http://i.imgur.com/SErmddi.png

5/5 easily the vest qyest uve done so far, would do agian!!
:):)

So yeah... hope this helps